"Finally, when all our score cards read 'zero,' and we saw that one more strike would put us out of the game forever, we had to look for our lost faith."
I have just recently come to see that my cards read 'zero'. I am at my bottom. I'm tired of dealing with my ED. I'm tired of trying to do this my way. I'm tired of feeling lonely and needyall the time. I'm tired of manipulating people. I'm tired of lying to myself and to everyone around me. I'm tired of hiding. I admit that I'm powerless over my insane eating practices and that my life has become unmanageable. I want to live a joyful, peaceful, purpose driven life. I know I can't do that in this state. I can't get there on my own; I believe God can restore me to sanity and he will if I ask him to.
God,
Thank you for bringing me to this point of surrender. I can't heal myself, and while your servants and angels are a big help, they are not omnipresent like you. Only you have the power to save me. From my disease. And from all the things preventing me a joyful life here on earth and eternally in heaven. You are so amazing to me Lord, and I can't wait to see your miracle happen in my life. I'm willing to do whatever it takes Father, just show me what that is and give me the courage to carry it out. Amen
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